a wolverine moment May 1, 2009

Yesterday I had a wolverine moment.

It was an internal wolverine moment. Externally I was still smiling and nodding my head and saying – ok then, thanks anyway.

As you may or may not know I volunteer at the old peoples home down the road. I go shopping with them, talk to them, serve them lunch, help them on the computer. You know, just general things that their families can't be bothered doing.

And one of the old girls, Eddie, who is 87 loves spending time on the computer. She emails family, she looks around facebook, reads the news etc. And she decided she'd like to learn to make cards, greeting cards. So I said I'd help her. But the only programme they have on their computer is Publisher. And thats just proving to be a bit tricky for her. And it does take a bit of practice for anyone. I find myself walking around the centre yelling out to her

Insert
text box

Because she can never remember she has to do that.

So I have this scrapbooking programme. You can do various projects on it, cards, pages, whatever, and it's fairly simple. So I took it up there yesterday because I thought we could install it and she could have some fun with it. But one of the girls said – you'd have to ask at the office. So off I went to see the office lady and she said no, I couldn't install it. And I said, oh, why not. And she said that they couldn't install anything on the computers without permission from head office and they'd have to come and inspect it and approve it and install it.

But then she didn't offer to ring them or anything. And it wouldn't matter if she did anyway, because I asked her months ago to find out what the password was so I could get into the settings and make the font bigger and that hasn't happened yet either.

What she did say was – what programme does it have on it.

And I said – publisher

And she said – well she'll just have to work with what she's got.

And I had this fleeting feeling of intense internal combustion.

And I just thought how hard is it to do something simple, that would give an old lady hours of fun.

Can't have that though can we. Don't want old people having fun. Using their brains. Much better to let them lie around and have their ears eaten off by mice.

And I realised then how lucky I've been to be able to work for myself these past twenty years. You know I'd almost forgotten about all the office politics and useless bureaucrats and rules and paperwork and time wasting involved in these places. And I don't think I could ever go back to it.

So I'm going to have a look around and see if I can find a free card maker online to try and download on their computer. I think it only blocks things if I try and install a disc.

So if anyone knows of something like that I'd appreciate a heads up.

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me, the bus driver March 31, 2009

The things I get myself into.

It was suggested last week, at the oldies home, that I should go and do a bus driver training course, so when we're out on bus trips, if Lorrie happens to drop dead for some reason, I'll be able to drive home. And I said, well if it was an emergencey I'd just drive home. But they went – no, no you wouldn't be covered by our insurance.

So early this morning off I went, in the rain, and I am now certified to drive a 14 seater bus. I can even reverse park it. And I can stamp the brakes on hard while going flat chat down a country road. Because we did that a few times. That was fun actually. Fun watching the other people in the back clinging onto their seatbelts, laughing in a nervous hysterical type of way. See I went first, then got out and sat on the grass while everyone else did it so I didn't end up with whiplash.

Last week I took it for a drive around our park because I said I was not going to do a driver training thing in it if I hadn't even sat in the drivers seat. So Lorrie and I took it for a spin. It's really easy to drive though. It's the same width as a car, but long. I was looking in the mirror and I said – it's long. And Lorrie said, yeah, thats the only time I freak out sometimes. When I look in the rear view mirror and see the bus is full of old people.

I know what she means. The thought of just that is freaking me out already.

However, it never hurts to learn a new skill. To add a new trick to the bag.

Whoever said that old dog new tricks thing was wrong. I've still got plenty of tricks left in me.

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born to be wild February 23, 2009

You know who the craziest freaks on the road are?

Those old people who drive scooters.

They really shouldn't just be set loose on those things. They should have to pass a test. My father drives one and the thought of him out there crossing highways makes me laugh. In a slightly manic way.

I was just driving straight through the car park and I saw this guy coming on an angle from my right – and I could tell he was trying to beat me to the stop sign. Don't worry, I didn't let him.

Last week I was sitting at the pub and saw a guy on his come flying up the one way street, the wrong way of course. And they never stop to check for cars reversing out of driveways.

They fly that little flag on the back as if it gives them total road rights. They seem to think everyone has to give way to them.

Crazy crazy dudes.

Well I'm off to cook my first dinner party meal – Frozen Praline Meringue Torte. Lucky the ice cream has to be softened – had to wait so long in the post office line it should be right to go.

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have you checked your macular? February 12, 2009

Being a slight control freak, I've always thought that the worst thing that could happen to me would be to lose my sight.

Its getting dressed that bothers me. Or rather, having Daz pick out my outfits for me. I couldn't trust him. I'd always feel I was leaving the house dressed in some strange combination of clothes. I'd have to buy every thing in black just to be safe.

And I experienced this exact thing yesterday when I went on a shopping road trip with the oldies from the hostel. I went off with a woman who was there to buy a new pair of shoes. She was diagnosed with macular degeneration twelve years ago and since then her sight has gradually deteriorated until now she is almost totally blind. I asked her what she could see and she said she can see lights above shop doors but not read what the sign says. I asked her if she could see the people about her and she said no – just shapes.

So we went into the shoe shop and I'd describe the shoes to her and she'd feel them, feel the heel, put them right up to her face. She wanted a dressy pair. So we picked out a few pairs for her to try on and she found a pair that felt nice. The we had the following conversation about 500 times throughout the day.

so they look dressy?

yes

and they're black?

yes

and they're the same size as my old ones?

yes

and they're a pair?

lol – yes

and they're hush puppies?

yes

and they're black?

yes

But I didn't mind because I knew I'd be exactly the same. And I probably still wouldn't believe they were black.

So check your macular – it's a cruel disease, mainly because there's no cure.

This simple screening test is used to assess the macula (the center of the retina). The Amsler Grid consists of evenly spaced horizontal and vertical lines printed on black or white paper. A small dot is located in the center of the grid for fixation. While staring at the dot, the patient looks for wavy lines and missing areas of the grid. This test is especially helpful for monitoring vision at home.

The doctor is especially interested in the following when testing vision with the Amsler Grid:

Are you able to see the corners and sides of the square?

Do you see any wavy lines?

Are there any holes or missing areas?

If the lines of grid do not appear straight and parallel or there are missing areas, the doctor will examine the back of the eye (macula) very closely. This test is frequently given to patients for home use to monitor macular degeneration. When using the test at home, notify the doctor if any changes in the appearance of the Amsler Grid are detected.

Amsler

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the library trip December 1, 2008

I've just been to the library. The car park isn't very inviting. You have to squeeze past these bushes

 

Library-car-park

 

that have these thorns growing on them

 

Thorn

 

And my seat was all wrong. And my mirrors. Too many different heights and shapes driving my car. L plates, red p's, green p's, daz, me.

 

Drivers

 

The librarian has been hassling me for a while to read this book but its always been out but she rustled it up today so I'll put it on top of my reading pile. Hope it's ok – haven't had a good book for a couple of weeks now.

 

People of the Book: A Novel

Geraldine Brooks

 

I'm off to cook with the oldies today. First christmas activity of the season. Rum balls, puddings and something else. They sell them at the Carols later in the week.

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the long and winding road November 13, 2008

Ok – so here are some photos from yesterdays bus trip.

This is where we had to park to get everyone out. As you can see it's on a fair slope. Plus they can't get straight onto their walkers because there's no cutout bit in the gutter for them to roll up. Then once they were set to go I had to hold the front of the walkers while they went down the hill or they could've all ended up in a pile at the bottom. They had to walk down to where all the people are to get in.

 

Downhill

 

You get a better idea of the hill from the journey back to the van. Pushing a wheelchair up there is not only hard work, but probably not even very safe. I decided to go out on the road instead. And if you look at the bottom right hand corner you can see that square has an extra steep dip in it. Those two guys walking up there aren't ours.

 

Uphill

 

I was walking along with John helping him and he said something about 99 and I said – But you're not 99 are you? and he said, whoa, no, I'm only 90.

This was at the club where we had lunch. It was a better set up. I like this photo because it looks as if we've just tossed the walkers out the door. But they are difficult  and uncooperative things to fold and carry so they tend to get chucked about a bit. Thats 90 year old John making a run for the bus. He was having a tussle with another guy about who was going to sit in the front seat so he wanted to make sure he got there first.

 

Walkers

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road trip to boganville

I am exhausted.

I've been on a road trip with the elderly.

I've folded and unfolded walkers all day and heaved them in and out of the bus. I've pushed Rose in her wheelchair up and down hills and hauled people out of low chairs by their very frail feeling arms. (It's ok though, they're tougher than they look).

We went for a trip to the next, even more isolated town, to admire their shopping mall and have lunch at the RSL club. From now on I shall think of it as Boganville. I don't know if it was pension day or something but, wow, I've never seen so many Iron Maiden tshirts in such a small space.

And if I had the energy I'd tell you about what a bloody disgrace it was where we had to park the bus and make these old and disabled people walk. But I have photos, so I'll show you later. I should be used to it after all my father has been disabled for twenty years and I've almost become used to seeing how hard it is to get him in and out of shopping centres.

I think I have something in my eye as well. Will be an early night for me. Bloody hot in Boganville as well. Amazing how much temperature difference there can be between two towns.

 

Exhausted

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rollin’ with the oldies October 29, 2008

I was in charge of the activity room at the oldies home last time I went. When I arrived Glenda said – we're having a staff meeting today so you can do some activities with the residents.

okay then, am I allowed to do that?

So I went up there and told them I'd be bossing them around all afternoon and what did they want to do.

Darts was the first suggestion.

Ok, so how does that work? Well, apparently I walk around holding a dart board, stand in front of them, and they peg magnetic darts at me. Yeah right I said, don't you know I could lose an eye doing that sort of thing??

What else?

Hoi it was. In hoi I sit with a deck of cards and they all have six cards and I yell out a card and if they have it they turn it over. First one with all their cards over wins. Then they can have a lolly from the jar. The first winner said – one lolly, or can I have two? Oh, have two I said, why not. Oh, hang on, none of you are diabetics are you? I don't want to kill anyone. They have an unlimited willingness to play hoi. I could hardly talk at the end of the day.

So after a couple of hours they all got excited and started tapping my arm and pointing behind me and when I looked around Hazel was up and about to go for a walk. What I said? Isn't she allowed to walk around on her own. No, no they all say. Ring the buzzer, ring the buzzer. Hazel wears an alarm buzzer around her neck. Am I allowed to do that I say, will I get in trouble. NO, push it they say.

well ok. No one exactly raced in immediately, but about ten minutes later this large nurse, who looked as if she'd had quite a tiring day, walked in and said – Who pushed the alarm? And I pointed over my shoulder and said – she did.

 

Carefully-disguised

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