another aimless blog

yes, another blog to add to the millions out there already – but why not.

aspirations May 18, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — panthergirl @ 6:26 am
Tags: , ,

And not any of the kind to look forward to either.

I had a call back from the doctor after he read my mammogram results. I knew he'd want to aspirate the cyst in the left side so I was just avoiding him for as long as possible. It's fairly large – 4cm – and he thinks it should be drained. I told him I'll just put up with it for now thanks. He said I won't need to have it done by guided ultrasound because its so big someone will just be able to feel it, stick the needle in and drain it. He told me he'll – speak to his friends. I'm hoping his friends are doctors and not plumbers.

While I was waiting I was watching their screen of ads and messages that are supposed to entertain you during the hour long wait and I saw one that said

Waiting Room Etiquette

If you do not know where the restrooms are, please ask a staff member.

Which leads me to believe that there must have been past instances of people doing their toilet in the waiting room instead of the restroom. Restroom is such a stupid term anyway. I try to rest as little as possible in public toilets.

In other medical news to hand I have also had a meeting with the speculum :O


Obviously she didn't use this one that was lying about on the desk. She just likes to demonstrate whats going to happen and let you hear the loud cracking noise it makes so you don't think its your cervix shattering when she opens it.

So I think, unless the Doc manages to rustle up a buddy with a sharp needle handy, that I'm done with these tests for another two years.

Oh, something interesting she told me. Before they started the Pap Test Register here in Australia 2000 women died every year from cervical cancer. But since starting thats dropped to 200 a year. And when you ask the majority of those 200 they say they have never had a Pap Test.

C'mon girls  – I know its not the most fun thing you can do in the week, but it could save your life.

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22 Responses to “aspirations”

  1. Ninja Says:

    Blokes have cameras and pincers on slender probes which wind their way up the southern river, then followed by a couple of fingers which feel strangely as though the Doc was trying to play Chopsticks while he's checking you out.And then, any bloke who's had a catheter jammed up the pecker… well, THAT's something to write home about!

  2. cat Says:

    lol, well it serves you right – and don't try and outdo us girls in the undignified bloody awful experiences category – don't even start!!

  3. cat Says:

    although that does sound fairly horrible – snicker snicker

  4. LOL @ Ninja!!I just realized – it's been so long that I've been to that kind of doctor (I was about to write the Down Under doctor – but it might not be as funny for you as I thought it was :-P) that I didn't even know those torture devices came in plastic now…How nice!!And you're right – once a year should be manageable. When I was still in Germany I was a good girl. But since coming to Norway ….. for the past years I've been telling myself "go make an appointment" – though hasn't happened yet.But I promise to do better.

  5. cat Says:

    Yes – make an appointment now. And don't be fooled by the plastic, they're still cold and hard!

  6. Ninja Says:

    It's all horrible stuff Cat. Clinics and hospitals are where we all leave our dignity at the door and get splayed open like chickens waiting to be stuffed!

  7. cat Says:

    lol, well thats one way to put it

  8. kalita Says:

    I think once you've spat some kids out in front of a bunch of people, having a pap test is the least of your dignity worries.And thanks for reminding me I should go make an appointment 🙂

  9. cat Says:

    True – but I spat my three out about twenty years ago. So I'm all coy and shy again now.

  10. Amanda Says:

    I get a physical every year. But this year I didn't need a pap smear. My doctor said that my reward for not cheating on Andrew and having lots of sexual partners is an every 2 or 3 years test. 🙂

  11. but … when I had the tube run "up the southern route," I was sound asleep. Meaning no loss of dignity. (Until the video of what they REALLY did to me surfaces … )So – hats off to you gals for all of that … I won't try to compete.

  12. I don't think any man should complain about their annual physicals, given that none of them have anything like a speculum shoved into their nether regions. And I speak as one who survived both a colonoscopy and a hospital catheter.

  13. cat Says:

    lol – good girl

  14. cat Says:

    haha – do you think it might show up on youtube – I hate being put to sleep for anything, I always think they're all having a good laugh at me

  15. cat Says:

    lolol – well I was thinking maybe I shouldn't have had the baked beans for breakfast as I was climbing on the table

  16. LeendaDLL Says:

    As a kid, I had the longest, stupidest convo with my mother about seeing a sign that said "Rest Rooms" and not knowing what it meant. She refused to explain it, insisting that I already knew. But I genuinely didn't. I finally imagined a room full of cots for people who were tired.

  17. cat Says:

    lolol – exactly

  18. Aubrey Says:

    Every year it gets done. I fear it, I dread it, I wonder what in hell that instrument he uses is that sounds like a packet of measuring spoons, and then it's done. Within minutes it's done. And every year I wonder what all the worrying was about.

  19. cat Says:

    Lol, I'm always worried about what I should wear – pants or dress, and should I hold my undies in my hand or toss them nonchalantly by my side – that sort of thing.I heard a girl on the radio the other day talking about a garage sale she went to and she said there was a bucket of speculums for sale

  20. I had early stage cervical cancer in 2000 – I second your suggestion : don't ignore even the slightest symptom or change.

  21. Bookmole Says:

    When I had my cyst aspirated (nice word, that) I didn't feel a thing. Husband was watching the TV monitor, and he said it was odd watching it shrink. I wondered why the doctor laughed when I asked about pain relief – mostly, it tickled. Very fine needle. Very little sensation.

  22. cat Says:

    Nice catch

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