another aimless blog

yes, another blog to add to the millions out there already – but why not.

paper work October 21, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — panthergirl @ 4:41 am
Tags: , , ,

You've gotta love Centrelink.

No, really. Once you get past all the anger and frustration.

For those of you not in Australia, Centrelink is a government run agency that hands out money to the unemployed, single mothers, struggling university students, that sort of thing.

That is if you pass all the eligibilty tests. And can provide every pay slip and receipt and in general any piece of paper you've ever received since you turned 16. And if you have a few days to trudge though the endless paperwork.

But I thought they might throw some money my way for Lizzie and Lloyd for education expenses.

So I logged on and the first thing I noticed was a message telling me that from now on I was going to be able to handle all my secret questions and answers. Which I thought was big of them. Considering they are my secret questions.

You always have to be careful with those secret questions. You can't make them so secret that you can't remember the answer. Because I did that once.

So I start the application and one of the first things they want to know is how long I've been in a relationship with my partner. And they want day/month/year.

What can I say. Um, well it was sometime late in 1984. It wasn't too long after a toga party we went to with another friend and my then boyfriend. He got totally trashed and the last we saw of him he was running off down the street into the darkness in his underwear.

So probably a Saturday. I had to guess that one. I wonder if they check it against a previous application I've done.

Then I click on the – how many dependents do you have – arrow, and it goes as far as 29. It went further but I didn't want to know how far it went. I had visions of the old woman who lived in a shoe trying to claim child support.

And my favourite part. Where you had to pick your title. I must say I felt very ordinary picking Mrs when these were some of the options I had.

Most Revered
Able Seaman
Air Chief Marshall
Swami
Baroness
Bombardier
Countess
Dame
Madam
Air Commodore

Thats as far as I got yesterday. I haven't even reached the serious parts yet. Where I have to disclose every tiny detail of my life and beg for the money.

At the moment I don't even know if I can be bothered.

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16 Responses to “paper work”

  1. OptamissTIK Says:

    How do I become a Bombardier?!!!!

  2. I thought I would try for student support type money for ME as Mr FD actually has no income at the moment. It took him days of collecting papers and visits to explain our circumstances and they kept asking for more and more information until they exhausted us and we gave up – I think that is their whole idea – make it so complicated and stressful that you give up.

  3. cat Says:

    I don't know but I'm sure he wouldn't be eligible for child support

  4. cat Says:

    Yes, my son applied for youth allowance earlier in the year and they seemed to need to know ridiculous things about him and anyone else he had any contact with. One of his friends ended up in tears over her application process. It was long.

  5. Snowy Says:

    I'm rather partial to "Most Revered" myself. I wonder if I should give it a try.

  6. cat Says:

    Only in your own imagination I'd suggest

  7. My sympathies for the upcoming paper work. But for us readers I see big entertaining posts potential here!

  8. cat Says:

    lol, who knows what lies ahead in the system

  9. Doug Says:

    I don't think you're allowed to use "Most Reverend" if you've ever been to a toga party.

  10. Ninja Says:

    Centrelink, next to the Child Support Agency and the ATO, has got to be the worst govt department ever. In fact, any bureaucracy that is supposed to be handing back OUR money, does so with amazing back-handedness. I had to go on the dole once many years ago, and they turned me right off. I feel for people who need their support because Centrelink just totally de-humanises anyone who seeks their help.

  11. Choose Able Seaman!!! … If only the bureaucracy here was as interesting…

  12. cat Says:

    Industrial Relations are pretty ordinary as well – no one there has a clue what they're on about

  13. Kzinti Says:

    Sounds like typical governmental red tape type stuff from here. Fill in these forty forms in triplicate, include copies of every document from 2001 and 2007 you have in your possession and then staple into three packets with coverletters on each one addressed to the redundant department of redundancy on three different days.


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