Do you have Sakatas where you live? If not, they're a small rice cracker that we eat a lot of here. You'll need to know that later.
Today I'm off to get my hearing tested.
Because I have tinnitus. You know, when you have a constant high pitched noise going on in your head, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the rest of your life, and there's no cure. And the doctor wants to see if it is affecting my hearing yet.
Its definitely affecting my mental stability. I'm pretty sure if they did some research into people who commit suicide they'd find about 98% of them had tinnitus. And the thought of living with it FOREVER just about does my head in completely.
However I was doing a bit of research on how people cope with it. One lady who has it told me yesterday, that you have to put the noise at the back of your mind. Or it'll drive you mad. So that was reassuring. One guy said he just imagines his head is full of birds flying around singing. Now that is definitely not going to work for me. That would put me in the madhouse.
So I cope with it by imagining that the nosie just means my brain is working. Kind of like a fridge, how it just hums along in the background. And I can ignore it most of the time. As long as I have other noise going on. So night time is the worst because the house is quiet and I'm really aware of the ringing. Someone told me that'll settle down.
But its not really a ringing, or a screeching. Mine is like having a head full of cicadas singing. Thats what I imagine when I'm thinking about it. A sunny day with a head full of cicadas.
The other day Lizzie came home from school and told me this story about a girl in her class who had written a poem and it was titled
The Screaming Cicadas
but she had spelt it
The Screaming Sakatas
Which was pretty hilarious. And now, whenever I think about my head noise, I imagine I have a head full of screaming Sakatas. Little rice crackers just going crazy.