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baby got back June 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — panthergirl @ 10:34 am
Tags: , ,

I'm in shock.

One of my worst fears has been realised.

I am a grandmother.

Yes, my filthy little harlot of a sixteen year old daughter has a baby.

And she has called him Rodney!!!!!


Here he is. Noisy little dirtbag.



I think he's asthmatic.

Probably be up all night with him with breathing problems.

Yes, this little honey is living with us for the long weekend. All the girls who do childcare get a him or a her for a weekend in the hope that it will scare them away from ever having children.

It's worked for me already and he's only been here for four hours.

Lizzie told me I'd have to pick her up from school because she – can't carry him all the way home. So I went to get her, and rodney, and watched her struggle up to the car with him in a capsule, a backpack on her shoulder full of nappies and clothes and other baby essentials, her school bag and folders. She put him him the back seat, jammed him in the door, threw herself in the front seat and declared herself exhausted. I rolled my eyes and said – he hasn't even been activated yet!!

So at 4pm he was bought to life. Lizzie wears a bracelet and every time he cries she has to wave the bracelet under his sensor to show that she has tended to him and he hasn't just spent the weekend at the bottom of the laundry basket.

You have to try to feed him or change his nappy or rock him. And you have to hold his head up as well. And sometimes he might keep crying. For no reason at all. Imagine!! And he's not predictable either. He doesn't cry at a nice regular four hours or something. he just goes off randomly.

It is going to be very very strange waking up in the middle of the night to a crying baby. That hasn't happened around here for about 16 years. Something like that could really mess with my head.

But oh funny days. Joys of small town life. I'm sure the rumour that Lizzie has had a baby is already spreading around town like wildfire.

See Lizzie asked Daz if he'd drive her and her boyfriend and baby Rod to the pizza shop. So Daz was waiting in the driveway and one of our neighbours was walking by and he said she saw Lizzie walk out to the car with her boyfriend and this baby and that she almost fell over trying to get a good look.

Almost worth a couple of sleepless nights.

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27 Responses to “baby got back”

  1. An Ex-Expat Says:

    The thing about the waving the bracelet is certainly a new wrinkle. Can't say I've heard of such here, but then I've also been out of touch with such for the past 16+ years or so also.

  2. cat Says:

    that way they can't just leave it with mum or someone else to deal with – you can just see it on her wrist there, waterproof as well.

  3. Jem Says:

    OMG i thought you meant it for real until i read down a couple of lines, lol, got me good.Let's take Rodney to the pub for lunch tomorrow.

  4. Snowy Says:

    Looks like a cranky little bugger, too, Cat. I can see Rodney finishing up in the garbage bin before the weekend's out.

  5. Haha! Nosy Neighbors! My niece had one of these to take care of too. It did not squash her want for a baby, she did not believe it was an actual representation of a real baby. I tried telling her a real one is much harder, but she has babysat a baby before and said it was not. Hahah! Ah… the joys of knowing everything at age 15.

  6. Raymond Says:

    I hope it works. People here in Texas are always going on about teenage pregnances, but then they're always going on about the lack of morals in the kids today anyway.The only difference I can see is that the kids of today don't have the option of a drive in theater. 🙂

  7. Rev Stan Says:

    What a fab idea. They should do a puppy version for me to put me off getting a dog.

  8. Waterbaby Says:

    I've read similar programs here in the States, sometimes using a large sack of flour, and totally totally support it!! It's tough to counter young biology and hormones with reason and wisdom but this is a start!!!

  9. cat Says:

    lo, well I think I'd tell you before I put it on Vox – we're not allowed to just take him out – we don't have the magic bracelet

  10. cat Says:

    What a fantastic idea!! And it could wee all over the house and bark all night and chew everything up. Sounds a bit like bloody Rodney actually.

  11. cat Says:

    yes I think my other daughter had to do it with an egg – you had to carry this raw egg about for a weekend – but our school must have had some funding thrown it's way because now they have two of these babies – you have to sign a form saying you realise they are worth $1300 each.

  12. cat Says:

    a lot of girls in this town have babies, babies having babies

  13. cat Says:

    I think he had some pillows over his head at 2am this morning

  14. cat Says:

    Yes, I'm not sure how much good they do, it probably all seems like a bit of fun when it's not real and you only have it for a weekend. I saw a show based in England and they have to do the programme for a few weeks and they live with the boyfriend and have the baby, but before that they have to wear a suit that feels and looks like being pregnant. That was good. Especially when some of the girls realised that the boyfriends weren't going to help with the baby and expected to have dinner cooked for them every night.

  15. Hahaha! That is awesome, a lil dose of reality to kick the young ones in the arse!

  16. Waterbaby Says:

    oh wow, that's some pricey baby! … though a helluva lot cheaper than the real thing. yeah, i've heard of the raw egg being used here too.

  17. My kid has his first serious girlfriend. I would like to rent that thing for the weekend… (the weekend I go out of town that is… )Seriously. I bet I could find something like that around here. Hm…Sorry for my distraction… Hope y'all survive intact!

  18. cat Says:

    he's having an unsettled afternoon – unsettled for him, unsettling for me

  19. Rev Stan Says:

    What he's got teeth????

  20. cat Says:

    lol, well I haven't tried to breastfeed him myself, but he definitely has an arse that seems to work just fine.

  21. Design Shark Says:

    I remember those. How nice that she only has to wave the bracelet. We had a key that you had to twist and hold it it's back the entire time it cried. Silly dolls.

  22. That baby has botox lips. It's a leetle creepy.

  23. cat Says:

    yes, he's an ugly little thing, and hard

  24. cat Says:

    Progress. He doesn't stop crying when you wave the bracelet though, that just registers so the teacher knows you didn't ignore him. You have to go through a whole range of things to see what he wants beofre he stops crying – feed him, change his nappy, burp him, just hold him – and sometimes he just keeps crying anyway.

  25. Design Shark Says:

    Oooh okay. Here I was thinking she got the easy way out. 🙂

  26. I see no family resembelance. I think it is a cruel thing t do to you and Daz on a long weekend.

  27. cat Says:

    It's weird to wake up in the night to a screaming baby, like I've slipped into some nasty time warp. Must say it is much more bearable when I don't have to get up and deal with it.

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