Last night, the dog across the road howled and whined and cried all night.
At 1am I thought, he'll go to sleep soon.
At 3am I thought, I'll have to go and shoot him soon.
At 5am I thought, ok, maybe he's hurt, or been run over, or caught in a chain, or locked in a tiny cage with spiked sticks poking into him.
At 6am I woke Daz (because he sleeps through anything), and said, go across the road and see if the dog is hurt.
So off he went, came back and said – he's ok, he was happy to see me, but he's ok.
I guess the people who own him decided it would be ok to go away for a few days and leave him home alone, in the dark.
He's a black labrador. A big goofy kind of dog. He steals shoes. I woke up early one morning when I heard banging on the front verandah. When I went out I saw him running away with a pair of Lloyds joggers. He took them across the road and added them to a pile of our shoes he'd already collected.
So by 10am this morning I'm delirious with lack of sleep. I don't sleep well at the best of times and any extra noise really throws me. Especially when its a dog that sounds like its just had a couple of legs broken. I don't think I can handle another night like it.
So this afternoon I rang Daz and said – bring him home a bone. We'll give it to him tonight before I go to bed and it might keep him occupied for a few hours. Daz and Betty just went for one of their walks (8pm) and he said I'll throw him the bone now. And I said – no, no, not now, someone might see you and think you're trying to bait him.
So thats why,when I went looking in the fridge for a drink just now, I saw two huge dog bones. One for Betty and one for The Black Labrador Who Lives Across The Road.
Tomorrow night he'll probably be sleeping on the lounge here.
BETTY'S GOB. Bone crunching keeps your teeth clean