another aimless blog

yes, another blog to add to the millions out there already – but why not.

the mother of all survivors September 6, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — panthergirl @ 3:10 am
Tags: , , , , ,

NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men
will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes .

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids ; keep his assigned house clean , correct all homework , and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives , and send cards out on time–no emailing .

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment , a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment .

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house , planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done .

The men must shave their legs , wear makeup daily , adorn himself with jewelry, wear  uncomfortable yet stylish shoes , keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed .

During one of the six weeks , the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings , church , and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each  night and in the morning, feed them , dress them , brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if… he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!

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15 Responses to “the mother of all survivors”

  1. Love it! Although my husband would actually probably do better than me at some of those.

  2. Paxton Says:

    Whine much? lol

  3. cat Says:

    it's the birthday cards and presents that I can relate to. After years of buying his sisters and mother presents and cards I said – why am I doing this, you do it and I'm not even going to remind you when they are. Not sure how he's doing with it. My family decided years ago not to buy each other presents so its easy

  4. cat Says:

    I was sick of survivor after a few seasons, but this is one I'd definitely watch.

  5. cat Says:

    So we'll sign you up then? I'm sure I can rustle up some lovely kiddies for you to borrow.

  6. Yes, I can relate to that one too. I still haven't stopped doing it completely but have switched to emailing vouchers to the nieces and nephews (who usually don't even get in touch to say that the present has arrived) and come to an agreement with his family (brokered by me of course!) that there would be no adult Christmas presents on the years when we don't actually see one another at Christmas. This year we are spending CHristmas with them but there is no way I would trust my husband to buy gifts as he would spend loads of money and buy really stupid things.

  7. cat Says:

    lol – once my husband wrapped up an old U2 vinyl he didn't want any more and gave it to his step brother for christmas.

  8. Paxton Says:

    Nope. I choose not to have children so I don't have to do those things.

  9. cat Says:

    wise choice – you must be fairly stress free.

  10. Paxton Says:

    You would think, but nature abhores a vacuum.

  11. Jack Yan Says:

    Cripes, I’m not entering that show!

  12. cat Says:

    would you fail then on the test??


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