let 'em be plumbers and doctors instead.
I shall never understand the timetable of the tradesman. After being told not to expect to see him for about two weeks, Lizzie stumbled out of bed at 7.30 this morning and said – the plumbers here. And I said – whadaya mean the plumbers here? And she said – he's here, in the hallway
So he set to work with some really noisy equipment that I'm sure the neighbours were thrilled to hear. And now our pipes are fixed. And hopefully the toilet will not overflow again. I asked him if he had a bill for me and he said it would be sent in the mail. I'd say thats probably because he hasn't done a first aid course and doesn't want women dropping from heart attacks or panic attacks when they find out how much it's going to cost. Anyway all my hard work at water conservation went down the drain this morning. Lizze said – can I go to the toilet, and I said – no, he's out there with the tap running. But when I went to look he was nowhere in sight but the tap ran full blast for about 15 minutes.
So then I raced off to the doctors and when I was waiting my turn, this boy came in with x rays and a swollen arm, and I just knew that little prick was going to get to go before me. And when he did I thought that if I fainted due to low blood pressure that the problem was probably resolving itself right at that moment. So an hour later I got to see caesar. He said I'm fine and to just go on as normal. He checked my ear and said it was a bit shiny and pink. Oops. I didn't tell him that may be because I scrape around in there with a bobby pin. My Nan used to do it when we were kids. We'd sit in the sun and she'd clean our ears with a bobby pin. Anyway, he said something about blood vessels in your stomach opening up and taking the blood from your head – I can't remember the name. He said some people experience it when the pass urine. The blood vessels all open and drain the blood from the head. He said my blood pressure was a bit high – not enough to worry about. But he did think I have arthritis in my thumb so he gave me some tablets to take for two weeks to see if it makes a difference. And he bulk billed me, so bonus.
Imagine passing out when you did a wee. Very inconvenient!