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QotD: Won’t You Be My Neighbor? April 19, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — panthergirl @ 10:49 pm
Tags: , , , ,

What are your neighbors like? (The ones you live near or next to, not the ones in your Vox neighborhood!)

My neighbours are in their 70's. She is extremely obese and spends all day on the verandah yelling at Him to get her food, get to the shops or get her out of the chair. They have 4 dogs and as many (or more) cats and She also yells at the dogs to "git the kitty" a lot. The dogs are sausage dogs not pitbulls or anything and the cats seem to enjoy it.

She has a lot of rings. Every finger has a few rings. Even pinkies. All gold and diamonds. I tried them all on at the last street christmas party. She told me when she was young she couldn't get enough diamonds.

Their daughter doesn't talk to them anymore because she is ashamed of how fat her mother is. It's a sad story because He and She are the kindest, funniest, most generous people you will meet.

I mean sure it's a bloody scene every time you go in their house. We used to go every year for christmas drinks and one year we had to pay Lloyd to come with us. Lol – He asked me if I wanted a wine one year and came back with a plastic water bottle with a pop up top full of wine. I looked under the table at one stage and one of the sausage dogs was humping another against my leg. The dogs are all boys. And as you sit there chatting She is constantly throwing food to the animals. There was a cocky with no feathers for a while. And I won't be having another piece of diabetic christmas cake for a while thanks. Man, that was dry.

But they tell funny stories and are very intelligent and I hear them sitting on the verandah talking to their minister about a wide range of subjects. So the daughter is missing out.

She is on a diet now. She has never made any effort to lose weight before. But now He is sick. And she wants to be able to drive him to all the doctors appointments. (She's too large to drive at the moment). She's determined and it's doctor supervised. 

She told us this story once.

Some guy was ringing people and giving them dirty phone calls. He rang Her and said

I'm going to come over to your place and lick every inch of your body.

And She said she cracked up and said to him –

Well you better bring a bucket of water with you because you're going to be bloody thirsty by the time you finish.

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10 Responses to “QotD: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”

  1. Ninja Says:

    LOL! This neighbour of yours sounds like a kak…

  2. cat Says:

    she's definitely an experience everyone should have

  3. Waterbaby Says:

    haha. Gotta love the eccentricites. Not the diabetic cake.

  4. cat Says:

    My husband doesn't eat christmas cake so chose instead a slice of an aspic type mould with prawns and chicken in it that looked so revolting I almost laughed.

  5. Waterbaby Says:

    and he's probably wishing he'd taken the cake instead …

  6. LOL – got to love old ladies!

  7. cat Says:

    you don't want to get her started on her haemarrhoids

  8. They sound like classics. Sad that their daughter is ashamed of them though.

  9. cat Says:

    she'll realise too late how shallow she has been

  10. Emjay Says:

    LOL! I have had to resort to payment and bribery to get my kids to visit people too! Someone once made me a really horrible sweet which involved a lot of peanut butter – obscene amounts of peanut butter. I hate peanut butter. I scooped a big bit onto the ground for the dog to eat and then had to "accidentally" lose the other half. The dog wouldn't eat anymore!!


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